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Archive for May, 2012

Missed Posting

Bismillah

I missed posting here but was too busy, mostly mentally but also physically to do anything but daydream about what I wanted to write.

First off, I moved fromUSAtoUK. Phew!! It’s a hassle, plain and simple, and in no way could I complete everything I intended for that move because crossing theAtlanticis neither fast nor cheap. However, and most importantly, Allahu Musta’an, therefore, Alhamdulillah for everything.

Second of all, with the Help of Allah for He alone is the Helper, I sorted everything that we needed sorted while inUSA, well, except my dd’s last name. That’ll have to stay till she turns 18 now and she can change it herself then if she so wishes, which I hope she wont because it reflects both of her parent’s love for her and commitment to each other inshallah.

Thirdly, I have Alhamdulillah managed, again with Allah’s Help alone, and His Protection is sought most ardently, to renew some friendships here in theUK, which I hope will last a life time and be beneficial to all parties involved inshallah. This for me is an accomplishment because I don’t make friends easily and I am pretty strict in my criteria for choosing friends. If they aren’t going to be a means to getting closer to Allah, and are further more, going to be a means to move further away from Allah, then I see zero reason to be more than passing acquaintances and that, only because of the good manners Islam dictates.

Fourthly, I’m in the process of re-connecting with my extended family here in theUK, especially those inLondonand because everyone is so busy and I don’t have easy mobility (public transportation ranks very low in my portability list), it is taking me some time. However, Alhamdulillah for telephones and emails and texts! Lol.

Fifthly, being the kind of person who cannot start to feel at home unless my house is setup according to my personal preference and comfort, it is still taking me time to feel comfortable being back in theUSA. So far we haven’t managed to bring everything of ours out of storage and for those things brought out of storage, some don’t apply anymore and others don’t fit and others are still in their boxes due to other constraints. Therefore, I’m not home yet, maybe in 6 months or so inshallah, I will be. However, we aren’t planning on staying in theUKfor much longer, which makes the whole business of settling down seem entirely pointless, which brings me to my next point.

Sixthly (is that even a word?), I find myself stuck between settling down here and making our current environs as comfy as possible so the kids may feel they are home inshallah, and preparing mentally and emotionally for the upcoming move to our top choice of countries inshallah. It’s a difficult place to be because I have to take into consideration not just my needs or just ours (dh’s and mine), but also the children. My ds, who will be two in about two weeks, is easy to transfer and has little or no problems of any kind, due to his age obviously.

However, with my dd, who will be 5 in about two and a half month, I find I am facing more obstacles in reconciling her to the changes and also helping her to transition and settle down. Since she’s been born, she has moving around so much, and after spending two years inUSA, more or less solidly, she’s not being called to again move around. I feel bad for her because it seems that when she finally makes friends and starts to enjoy and feel comfortable and secure about her environs, they suddenly change, calling her to start the whole process again from scratch.

Having moved around a lot myself when growing up, first changing cities, then countries, I can testify to the sense of being lost and constantly being on the outside looking into circles of established friends. That feeling of being an extra and being un-necessarily shy, and feeling better off alone rather than taking the time to pursue any friendships because they are so ephemeral, changing at a drop of a hat and at a time not of your own choosing.

Being an adult, I’ve learned to cope but I feel especially bad putting my children through this same experience. Therefore, we decided after much thought, that at most, we’ll spend one year here (in UK), then move and settle down permanently (with Allah’s permission, help, protection, guidance, provisions, and providence) inshallah.

Seventhly (again, is that a word? Lol), I’ve been really unable to write because I feel displaced (due to the above mentioned reasons in part). The bad of this feeling is because it makes me feel inarticulate. I’m busy pursuing the settlement of my living affairs and just getting by with settlement of after life affairs. Therefore, I don’t have time to sit down and put to words all of my various thoughts, of which I think I should list below so I can extrapolate on them later inshallah.

The good of this displacement feeling is the inherent lesson within that we are but travelers upon this earth, our destination is very clear, only the time of arrival has been kept from us. As travelers, we should take only what is necessary to survive and perhaps be somewhat comfortable during the trip inshallah. We know we don’t have to bring anything for the place we are going to has everything prepared for us and it covers every eventuality bi’idhinillah.

Finally, some thoughts I’ve had but haven’t had the time to write about inshallah:

–         Curriculum/home ed-ing

–         Meal planning

–         Freezer cooking

–         Hijab

–         Friends/friendship for the sake of Allah

–         Submission

–         Iman/taqwa/ihsan

–         Hajj (preparations/duas/lessons)

–         Marrying out of your culture

–         Parenting through hardships

–         Learning a new language the hard wayJ

–         Dawah to family

–         Large families

–         Using public transportation inLondon(the stabbing)

–         Loosing our youth to inactivity

–         Unfocused education (related to loosing our youth)

–         The unrest in the arab world

–         How our scholars may be letting us down and how can we help them not to inshallah

–         Preparing for death when you are a wife/parent

–         Worshipping Allah with all our might/with everything we’ve been given (the kid in the wheel chair)

–         Finding contentment in serving others/being unselfish

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