Archive for July, 2012

Ramadhaan Mubarak!


I wished to post this here because its relevant since Ramadhan is starting mashaAllah.

Ramadhaan Mubarak!.


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Praise be to Allah

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I was reading this article where the woman was urging the wives to consider that they husbands cant possibly be all that bad, and that sometimes as wives, our views of him are skewed by our unnecessarily high expectations.

I so agree with this subhanallah. How high are our expectations for our lovely guys subhanallah. We expect them to work hard and not complain, to have always good days and kind words flowing from them, to be at attention for our various moods, and needs and remain always sensitive to our flowing thoughts and changing opinions about every matter subhanallah.

We call them to account for everything, from the way they speak on the phone to someone to how to they are taking care of their beards in the morning. We monitor and criticize everything we may see that falls from the ideal we have in our heads about the “right” guy, but do we see ourselves?

Do we monitor and criticize our every failure and short coming, our every sin and wrong doing, big and small, major and minor? Do we mind our speech, our actions, the implications in both when we are interacting with him or with others around us? I’m sure we don’t, not to the same exacting degree as we do with them.

Further to that, since we know our own hearts, we easily make excuses for our apparent behavior that others may see, having all kinds of justifications to explain a thought, a word, a deed. Yet do we accord the same to our husbands and brothers in Islam? I think rarely and very far between subhanallah.

Instead we are quick to judge and condemn, sometimes, or more likely, often without offering a chance for explanation or redemption.

So I’m challenging myself and my sisters this Ramadhan inshallah, to focus on ourselves and our short comings, to watch and mind our speech and actions and any implied meaning we may not clearly state or act out (I know we have a lot of those, passive aggressive behavior, martyr syndrome, etc).

Let us see if we can catch ourselves in the act of doing bad and tell ourselves off, condemn ourselves, give ourselves no benefit of the doubt, make no excuse for ourselves, exact retribution for our bad behaviors. Lets turn that laser eye focus we have aimed at our husbands and others around us, towards our own Nafs and lets see how the Nafs holds up to the scrutiny and its results inshallah.

I challenge myself and my sisters to turn inward, to expend on ourselves in order and in the hope of improving ourselves, to make no excuses and tell ourselves no lies about our own behaviors and to focus our over active imaginations on the problem of improving our Nafs and accounting it for its own good in the hereafter.

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