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Bismillah

Recently I read that it is good to have a mission statement as a mom/wife/write./believer etc. I agree with this because in part because I’m trying to get myself organized and this is the year I’m going to do it bi’idhnillah. And in part because I see the managing of my self, my family (husband/children), my work/home, etc to be a type of job (paid in full by Allah swt at the end of my contract inshaAllah). And any job of any company requires a mission statement.

So I went about creating a mission statement. It was actually a bit hard but I think I have something workable. My mission statement should remind me why I’m here and why I have the responsibilities I have. It should inspire me to do better and re-focus me when I loose sight of what is important to me in this life. It should serve as a guide to what is next to be pursued, and a source of inspiration for what more I could accomplish.

And so here it is:

‘To worship Allah as if I see Him and even though I don’t, to always remember that He sees me and two Angles are recording all of my intentions and deeds. To be the bird whose head is Love for Allah and whose two supporting wings are Hope in Allah’s Mercy and Fear of Allah’s Wrath. Therefore, to be sincere in my intentions and deeds, patient in my struggles, and thankful for every moment for it is a blessing granted by the Merciful and Beneficent nature of Allah.

To be an oasis in the desert that is living to my husband and children by being patient in times of hardship, by putting their needs above others, helping, supporting, and loving them with all that Allah has blessed me with. To my husband, I wish to be the wife of his dreams, who pleases him whenever, and to whom he has full trust, reliance, and finds fulfillment of himself as a man and a father. To my children, I wish to be the mother that they would not change even if they could, to be their teacher, advisor, friend, and nurturer. To show them the right path, instill in them confidence, and teach them to think, to reason, and to view the world from perspective of a righteous believer.

To let my home speak of the thankfulness I hold in my heart for the generosity of Allah in our lives by keeping it clean and smelling great, filled with a welcoming atmosphere to family and guests alike, and a place that serves health and nutrition along with wisdom, love, calmness, and laughter.’

I do feel like this mission statement does not contain everything that I would like, however, I’m in a place of transition this year inshaAllah and as such, I feel what I have down is sufficient for my what I anticipate my needs to be for the rest of the year.

 

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Having Khushuu with my Family

Bismillah
Being with the family, all of us together and engaged with each other is such an important part of loving each other actively and helping each other to be better individuals when the time comes to be apart from each other.
Many a times my husband has cautioned regarding spending time online and being careful that it does not take time away from the family, my various duties, and worshipping Allah with khushuu. In this case, I believe having khushuu or focus and full awareness, while being with the family, not being distracted in anyway, will bring the same benefits to the family, that are brought to the formal salaat (prayer).
One of the best ways to bring khushuu into your salaat is to worship Allah as if you see Him, because then your focus is fully on Him and on what you are doing while there in front of Him.
Similarly, having khushuu while with your family means shutting out the world’s distractions such as internet, phones, ipods, book/magazine reading, etc. to the extent that your focus and your full attention and awareness is upon your family and you are fully engaged with each member inshallah.
There should be at least two times per day when family should be together physically and emotionally, enjoying each other, sharing about their day, any frustrations, successes, seeking advice, and generally loving and laughing each other and together inshallah.
Furthermore, there should be special time with the husband and wife inshallah, where not even the distraction of children is allowed. The best times would probably be after Fajr before the day starts and after Isha and putting the children and their personal day to bed inshallah.
The couple time need not be especially intimate or romantic each and every time, but it should be the time when the two strive to nurture and renew each with soft touches, gentle words, and tender hugs.
Couple time is essential to having a strong and steadfast marriage, which will translate to a strong and steadfast family inshallah. When the couple takes time to focus on just each other, not just as part of the duty to be intimate, but fully enjoying their time, physically, mentally, and emotionally their trust and reliance on each other is strengthened and any fractures are healed before they turn into open festering sores inshallah.

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