Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category


This seems like the  beginning of a great personal treatment inshallah. I look forward to following this series so I can take better care of my “beauty” inshallah, the natural way!

What to Stock in Your Handmade Beauty Cupboard.


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Being a wife and mother are two jobs that are highly underrated, under estimated, undervalued, and underappreciated nowadays. Today we are told that if the woman stays home while her husband works and provides for her, or Allah forbid, decides to raise her own children instead of sending them off to day care while she works, then she has regressed to the dark ages of women enslavement and subjugation.

Today, being a wife to your husband, caring for his needs, preparing his meals, greeting him cheerfully after a hard day’s work, cooking his meals, ironing his clothing and generally minding his home so he comes to a restful and calm place to recharge his battery, is akin to sinning in the eyes of society.

And not just society, many of our own family members, who may know us very well, are left aghast at our decisions to be wife and mother first, and not career women first.

I have a wonderful sister of mine who quit her electrical engineering job, which was paying her massive amounts of money and gaining her prestige left right and center, to stay home and raise her children and focus on her marriage mashAllah.

This sister is smart mashAllah. She graduated high school with honors and achieved her bachelors with the same distinction. She mostly put herself through school with scholarships she won on merit. She landed excellent internships throughout her school years and a great job at a large company with a great starting salary mashAllah.

Yet upon starting to practice Islam properly (she was born and raised as a Muslim, albeit a not much practicing one due to ignorance mostly), she chose to honor her aspirations for the best of Akhirah, and left behind her Dunia ambitions.

She is now a mother to two little ones and a third on the way, she recently started homeschooling her five year old, and she is managing to fulfill her roles admirably mashAllah, despite the negative rapport that comes from family and old friends, who see her as wasting her time.

Muslim women have their honor already handed to them at birth, as women who worship Allah, submitting to His laws, and working hard along their men to enjoin good and forbid evil, in every aspect of life mashAllah.

We don’t need other human beings to tell us what is the appropriate role for us, what we should aspire for, what defines success or failure for us, how to live, who to give to, or where to place our aspirations for success and the good life.

We know this because it has been outlined for us and numerous outstanding examples are in existence already for us to model ourselves to in order to attain true success.

Yet today, our modest ways of dressing and behaving are disparaged, our loving ways to our husbands, the honor and recognition we confer to him is disparaged, and conscientious ways of choosing to raise our children, to educate them about their purpose in life, to hold on to them in the face of the tide of the “modern culture”, are also denigrated.

We are told that we are oppressed and subjugated, if we truly chose these ways then we are accepting slavery and allowing the women’s rights movement and the hard work of the feminists to go to waste, and so many other things.

But these upholders of the “modern times” are forgetting that the feminist movement was born in the Christian culture and has nothing to do with Muslims, nor our laws. Alhamdulillah our laws have been clear from the beginning.

No human being is above another, except by his piety, his good actions, his submission to the laws of Allah, etc. Further, that man is not better than woman, nor is a woman better than man, nor is there a better person due to any other physical feature or ability.

Women have their roles, their place in society, their rights, duties, and responsibilities set by Allah and are and should be upheld in society, under penalty of punishment by Allah, the law giver Himself. The exact same goes for men. They have their roles, their place in society, their rights and duties, and responsibilities all set up too. None may take the right of the other, and none may shirk the duty and responsibility to the other, again, under penalty of punishment by Allah.

Therefore, those looking at a Muslimah, with her modest outfit, her lips adorned with kind speech, her heart full of her husband’s needs and children’s rights, her home being her haven and of outmost concern for her, and her association with the world outside her home being minimal and only out of necessity, should not see a depressed, home bound, wilting woman. They should look closer and inshallah they will see the light of contentment in her eyes, not because her life is perfect nor free from daily life struggles, but because she is in submission to Allah, she is sitting at the throne designed just for her abilities and knowledge and she is ruling it to her best effort. She is not seeking to leave her throne, or to rule it at a distance, or to pretend that she does not want to sit on that throne because everyone is laughing at its supposedly humble appearance.

She is not fooling herself, nor living to please creation in place of her Creator, nor is she ignoring the basic truth of her physical and emotional makeup just to compete with the opposite gender in a race she knows she is bound to loose.

I have so much more to say on this matter and inshallah plan to revisit this subject several times. I hope you will leave comments and we can spark a nice discussion inshallah.

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