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When we marry, most of us hope to complete our deen and actually, we marry with that intention and that thought in our heads and that awareness. That the spouse will help us to complete the other half of our deen.

But how many of us think carefully about what this means? Often we are coming straight from jahiliyah, or didn’t even marry as Muslims but became Muslims afterwards, so the deep thought or contemplation about the meaning of completing our deen didn’t truly occur.

Good looks, money, status, high education, class, ‘paperwork’ , ‘islamic reasons (cover the awrah, reduce temptation, sunnah of prophet¬† salallahu alayhi wasalaam), etc. Somewhere in there, the thought was marriage is half of deen, I want to marry… and this is of course good….

However, most of us didn’t think what that really means, from a more in depth view point and oftentimes, there was none to guide us or help us to understand. And this is one of the tragedies our current and coming generations are facing.

The elders are not present or are not consulted. Even then, there is a disconnect between us and them, preventing mutual consultation and discussion.

When we marry, and this advice can be applied to those who haven’t yet gotten married to those who have already clocked many years with their spouse…

Find a partner, not a trophy to show off or a pole to lean on.

Your spouse is to become your other leg. Marrying him is tying your leg to his/hers and from then, the only way to walk upright is to use one of your legs and one of his and the two that are tied together to move forward. It is basically going to be a three legged race and if there is stumbling, both partners have to pull each other up and if there is lagging behind, both partners are to hold on to each other, and if there is faltering, both will have to encourage each other… etc.

Next time you have a chance, closely observe a three legged race and you will realize how a successful marriage is supposed to be conducted.

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A thought…

Why do we hold ourselves to be better than others subhanaAllah?

Astaghfirullah for saying this but in reality, all of us poop, whether it is in a porcelain toilet or in the wilds… Whatever we eat, be it the most sumptous of meals or a scraped together tasteless dinner, by the time our body is done with it, it comes out unrecognizable and stinky and something no one would like to see or cozy up to…

So why do some of us hold ourselves to be better than others, looking down on their birth or their conditions or their circumstances or the blessings or lack thereof in their lives?

Who made us the judge and jury? Who wrongly convinced us to such blindness?

 

 

 

 

 

D

The best competition

… is to compete against myself…

I was going to pick up ds2 from madrassa and was having chat… mhhh … more like pouring to… mh… the point is, I was having a ‘discussion’ with my Lord and Master and so we mendeared and came to the topic of competition…

ah yes, I remember now, I was repenting!! I was asking for forgiveness and guidance and reorganizing my thoughts and purifying my intentions… and so we came to this discussion…

I want to compete of course, just like everyone else… but what is the use of competing with others? What I want most in this life is to please Allah, to be drawn close to Him, to die while He is pleased with me, having no sin, owing no creation anything whatsoever…

How is competition with others going to help me with this? It wont, not the way my personality is…

So I think that if I compete, it better be with myself… be better today than yesterday, be stronger and smarter than I was before, retain more of what I’ve learned, reach a steadier level of patience and gratitude, things like this…

When one competes with people, one competes on this dunia level… I own more than you, I’m more than you, I have more than you, mine is bigger, better, stronger, etc than you…

Its a waste… especially in light of trying to live lightly, as we are just passing by…

Better people from before have lived, have competed, have owned, have acted, have achieved things I never will and better people than me will appear later inshaAllah…

The wise ones seem to turn inwards, seem to become hermits, seem to withdraw from society, seem to be far away even when they are sitting with you, seem almost etheral and untouchable, even when living among you… because they are competing with themselves, they are fighting to make themselves better, they don’t have the time nor the inclination or desire to compete with you…

So what if they can walk faster then you, if their steps are constantly slowing down because there is no competition anymore, no challenge?

If I measure myself against others, I can only slow down once I’ve achieved a level above those others… If I measure myself against myself, I can only go faster in order not to let myself catch up, nor to fall behind myself…

By living lightly upon this earth, and being not in a rush… it is to advice myself to not be caught up in what is going on with others, neither probing their matters, nor being influenced by their efforts as they live… I don’t know what is driving them, nor their true situation internally and privately… How can I measure myself to them?

I should walk at my own pace and biidhniAllah, I shall arrive at the right destination that is most suited to me. Walking at the pace of others, for comparison or competition is only to misguide myself and may cause me to arrive at an unexpected place…

 

On this earth…

… walk slowly, there is no rush, be humble and fulfill your needs, but do not go out of bounds for you are but a passerby… soon to disappear into the mists of time… why stress of matters out of your control? why insist on living loudly, brashly, hard, determined to make an impact, when even rocks are worn down to sand…

be soft when you walk, there is no rush…..

be gentle when you speak, those with ears will hear you

there is no need to insist on showing your ability and possessions, those with eyes will see and those meant to see will see, why drown others just because you have…

we are but passing through, our end was determined before our birth and to our destination we will arrive, make no mistake nor worry about it… instead, focus on getting there safely, happily, comfortably, in a manner that will ensure your being pleased at your arrival…

people today live hard lives, pound and pound away, with shidda trying to extract every drop they can from this thing called life… we live as if we aren’t dying with every breath and every cell that dies and every shortening of the telomerase…

really… what is the rush? who is chasing us, why are we competing and who are we competing with?

more on competition next time inshaAllah…

Its been a long time….

It’s really been a long time…

I’ve done so much in the past 3 years mashaAllah

I’m in surah an Nisaa mashaAllah (from alFatiha).

All my kids are now in school and no babies at home anymore mashaAllah

Had 2 miscarriages that I’ve alhamdulillah recovered from

Have many new friends and picked up some hobbies along the way

And thankfully, alhamdulillah, have learned some more patience just by living in Algeria:)

I have thought to write many things and some I have forgotten and some¬† I have recorded in various places that I will try to bring/transfer here…

One important thought that keeps circling in my head… Write something for the kids to read/learn from later on in life… I have many beneficial thoughts that time just keeps snatching away while the kids are too small to appreciate/learn from/comprehend…

I keep praying for Allah to save them for my kids but I must make the effort also… for every 1 step we take, Allah takes 10 towards us…

 

True Loss

Allah says in the Quran al Karim, in surah al-A’raf in verse 53

‘Do they await except its result? (the fulfillment of the promises made in the Quran) The Day its result comes, those who had ignored it before will say ‘The messengers of our Lord had come with the truth, so are there (now) any intercessors to intercede for us or could we be sent back to do other than what we used to do do?’ They will have lost themselves, and lost from them is what they used to invent’

I want to cry when I read this verse… What is any of us waiting for? For Allah’s ‘Shin’ to be revealed? For the clouds to part like doors and the Angels to descend? For the seas to erupt and the mountains to vanish?

Allah says ‘and certainly We have diversified in this Quran for the people from EVERY KIND OF EXAMPLE, but man has ever been, most of anything prone to dispute 18:54

La Hawla wala Quwatta ila bi Allah… Subhanahu wa Ta’ala… Lailaha ila Allah… Rabbul’Arshi al Majid!

Bismillah

Read the following… Note the color coding… What are your thoughts?

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Source:http://qurangems.com/2013/09/11/linguistic-miracle-of-ayatul-kursi/

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